I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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