on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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