Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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