1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
