You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
