Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just found puke in my bra..
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
