I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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