goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
