It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
