my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
