Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
