so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
