In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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