I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
