Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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