So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
