You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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