she was so not down for the gang bang
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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