Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
