I'm eating all of the evidence.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
