On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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