And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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