Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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