there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
