We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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