Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
