Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
