I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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