Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
