before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
