Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize