No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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