Where is the hickey?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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