The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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