We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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