Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
