belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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