I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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