that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
