as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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