I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think your dad took our porno
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
