So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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