Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
