Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
