I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
