i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
