You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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