You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
