You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
