Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
that is very illegal...i love you.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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