Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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