If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
