He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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