My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
